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EWCeWF: THE MUSIC

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intro

(We are taken to a house show in Utah just outside of Salt Lake City. Commissioner Benjamin comes out with his music playing to the crowd's displeasure)

RB:"Yes, I love you all too! Tonight, don't expect me to be interupted by that old bag of wind that calls himself the president or owner or whatever he calls himself. Tonight i hold in my hand (He pulls some papers out of his back pocket) my contract! I had my lawyers go through it very carefully! It clearly states in here that I, not Mr E or anyone else, I am the man who makes the matches & I get final say on everything that goes down! Now, that being said, I want you all to realize that I am indeed a fair man! I want to make this company money. Basically, that makes me more money. So, without further adeiu, let's start setting up the next card! It will take place right down the street in the Delta Center in Salt Lake City! IT will be held on the 9th of January. It will be entitled EWCeWF Aftershock! I'm gonna start by teaching someone a lesson! FUNK! (crowd responds by cheering at the mention of his name) You were thrown into a match by that old bag of crap Eromitlab & you got your sac handed to you in a doggy bag! You are a poor excuse for a man & so, your ass is no longer a part of the most elite force ever to exist! Funk, it's real easy! You have until Aftershock to find a partner to take on the tandom of Loki & Ares!!"

(Of Wolf & Man hits the pa & The crowd erupts as Fenris steps out with Funk)

Fenris:"No need to wait until Aftershock! Ya see Benji, as usual I am two steps ahead of you! I knew that you would come up with some ignorant plan to destroy a guy that has always given everything that he has to this business. So Benji, you're lookin at Funk's partner for Aftershock!" (Superfly hits the pa & the crowd pops for Flash as he makes his way out)

Flash:"Excuse me Mr Fenris & shut yo ass up Benji. What in all of tarnationousness do you think that you're trying to do? Why are you player hatin on me? I am Funk's partner, not you!"

Fenris:"No Flash, ya see, that is exactly where you're wrong. You, are going to be contending for the Internet title at Aftershock!"

(Crowd pops & Flash looks at Fenris in shock. Benji interupts)

RB:"Who in the hell gave you a right to make matches here!? Antonio Chavez Jr is getting a rematch at that title because he was robbed!"

(Outkast hits the pa & the crowd erupts as the new internet champion steps out next to Flash, Funk & Fenris. At this point Benji is livid!)

SV:"I believe that it states in the rule books Benji that if no previous contender is in place that the champion gets to choose his first opponent. There is no named number one contender & so Flash is the guy that I deem most deserving! But since I don't want you to think that i am ducking you in any ways shape or form, you can throw Ant into the mix too! I wouldn't want him to whine like the little bitch that he is!"

(With that all four men walk away)

RB:"DAMNIT! Yeah, ok Scorp, you got it! You read the rules correctly! Hell, I didn't even know you could read! You guys think that you're pretty damn clever though huh? Well, that''s just fine! You'll get yours! Now, if I might move on, there WILL be no more interuptions!" (X by Xzibit hits the pa & Reggie & Victor come out with their tag titles over their shoulders. Vic has his head bandaged up. Right behind them comes Quad P & Guido. All four men stop & Benjamin is about to explode!)

Reg:"AAAAAaaay YO!! What up UTAH!? Yo Benji, its like dis man, we needs to know what types a mess you gots lined up fo us!"

RB:"Suspensions if I get interupted one more damn time! What is it that you want Reggie!?"

PPPP:"First of all Rob, we want to make it perfectly clear that we are NOT the new tag champions, YET! There is no way that we were going to accept those belts that way."

Reg:"So true & aint no way in heww day we was bouts to lose em like day nietha! Now, You wants to know what we wants? Me & my main man Vic right here, we wants dem lil ass Deuces!"

RB:"Funny you should mention that Mr Noble cuz I was just about to mention how much I enjoyed watching the Deuces last week! So, let me see if I get this straight, you want the Deuces thusly meaning the Deuces get a title shot. Hmmm, Yeah, OK, I can do that!"

Vic:"Wait wait wait howd up now. We aint say nuttin bout no titoe shot! We said dat we wanted dem lil bitches! We aint puttin the titoes on da line less you gives our fellas here what day needs!"

RB:"And what might that be!?"

PPPP:"We want Fox & Beefcake! We want them in the center of the ring in a wrestling match! Is that so damn much to ask!?"

RB:"Yeah, ok, if it gets the Deuces a title shot, I can live with that! But what I can't live with is being interupted AGAIN! Now the four of you get the hell outta here before I fire your asses!! Now, as was stated earlier, the new champion is entitled to choose his opponent if there is no number one contender. So, Mad Dog jack Armstrong has asked me to announce the challenger for the hardcore title at Aftershock! (he pulls out a piece of paper & reads it, his smile turns to a look of horror) This can't be right! Well, he signed it. Damnit. Vengeance is the next hardcore title challenger. (Crowd erupts at the mention of his name & Benji mumbles 'i hope he knows what he's doing') (Just then Tom Joad hits the pa & No Mercy steps out. DDP has a mic in his hand & they all look battered & beaten) Oh now what could you guys possibly want!?"

DDP:"Benji, we hate to interupt but there is an obvious issue at hand here. We need to know how we could be left out of a match with those bony little Deuces when we know that they were the ones that jumped ol DA here!"

Nem:"Well that aint what I need to know Dick, I need to know where in the hell Abaddon was when we were gettin jumped AGAIN in our lockeroom!!"

Abaddon:"Where I was? Where the hell were you guys when I was gettin my ass beat around by three guys & a midget with diamond encrusted knucks!? I'll tell ya where you were, you were sittin on your asses in the lockeroom waitin for the Deuces to come & kick your asses & I'm glad they did! You guys nee-"

(He gets cut off by a metal crutch shot to the back of his head via Death Angel & Nemessis & DA proceed with stomping on him while Benji looks on) RB:"Are you guys done yet?"

DDP:"Rob, since we can't get the Deuces tonight, throw us a bone! Make it Nemessis & Abaddon one on one, will you?"

Nem:"NO RULES!"

RB:"Yeah, I can do that. Now take the family squabble somewhere else, I'm trying to take care of business here! (No Mercy leaves & EMT's come out to check on Abaddon) Well, now that the interuptions are done for good, let's address another issue. Tommy Kant. (crowd pops for the Tank) You are another Apocalypse flunky. Therefore you, my ignorant friend, will get to do battle with a guy that shocked me with his intensity & killer instinct last week. Hey, I may not like the guy but if he is gonna lose it, the least i can do is take advantage of it. Tommy, you can take on the loose cannon they call Jiggsta!! Let's make this a good old fashioned falls count anywhere match! Yeah, that'll be fun! As for--"

(Rob is cut off by Simply Luscious hitting the system as the crowd rises to its feet & goes ape shit for the new world champion!! LB steps out with a mic in his hand)

LB:"At the risk of sounding like Scott Levy Rob, what about me!? What about Luscious!? What are your plans for the man that is simply luscious!?"

RB:"You wanna know what my plans are Bill!? Well, originally I was going to give your butt buddy UEZ a rematch shot at the title cuz I liked watchin you guys beats the crap out of each other so much but no, I don't think I want to do that! I think that the guy right behind you is gonna get the title shot!"

(As LB turns around he is cranked over the head with a steel chair by Malstrom who stands over him looking down & scowling. As he lifts the chair to slam it onto LB again, Fallin Away From Me hits the pa & UEZ runs out to a huge pop & grabs the chair from Malstrom & starts pounding away on him. As security breaks it up & take Malstrom to the back & EMTs help LB to the back Scenario 2000 is heard over the pa & Jadacide steps over the rail from the crowd with a mic in hand. As all of this is going on Benji is really pissed! He is kicking the bottom ropes & yelling & flailing his arms all over the place)

Cide:"Oh hell naw Z! Uh uh! Dis aint bout to happen! I aint havin it! You been up at da top fo long enuff! Time fo some changes to be made! Z, ya steppin in & rainin all up on Cide's parade again! I aint gonna let you step up and git invowved in dis titoe hunt wifout you havin ta deal wit my ass!"

(Just then Blind hits the speakers & a spotlight shows Blood McGrath in the second balcony with a mic in his hand)

BM:"Bitch bitch bitch, whine, piss, moan, complain & then bitch some more! Jadacide, shut the hell up ya little hood rat! You don't know a damn thing about who deserves what! When it comes to "titoe" (mocking Cide) shots, there is but one man that deserves a shot at the world title. You're lookin at him. Z, your time is done like the hood rat said. Cide, your scummy ass should just go back to living ghetto fabulous & leave the world title picture up to me."

(Suddenly Benji smiles)

RB:"WAIT A MINUTE GOD DAMNIT!!! I SAID THAT IIIIII AM THE ONE CALLIN THE SHOTS HERE!! Now I am sick & damn tired of this crap! You three can all shut the hell up right now! The match that will determine a number one contender for the world title will be a triple threat match & it will feature Untouchable Eddie Z, Jadacide & Blood McGrath!! Now it is set! There is no more to be laid out! You three get the hell out of my sight!"

(Camera fades out as Benji is walkin to the back being pelted with various containers)

***

Mad Dog

We see Mad Dog with his hardcore title and Shiznap at the zoo throwing rocks at the monkeys.)

MD: Off the tire swing, off the wall and to the monkey on the left. S: Boss, the camera people*

MD: Shut up slut or I?m gunna* (He sees the movie camera.) Well as you can bloody well see, I?m your new hardcore champion.

S: He?ll be the best hardcore champion ever. He can kick everybody?s ass. He can*

MD: Shove my fist down a midget?s throat unless he shuts the hell up! S: Sorry.

MD: Now that achieved my goal of getting the title. I?m going to make a new goal. I?m going to keep it! I will stop at nothing to hold on to this belt. This belt is my life, my pride and joy. I?m not going to let some piss ant take it away from me. Vengeance, look at this belt. Get a good look. Look at how it shines. Look at its splendor. Look because*

S: Mad Dog will kick your ass at Aftershock! He*(Mad Dog punches Shiznap in the face. He then lifts Shiznap up and throws him into the monkey pit. The monkeys start going crazy when they realize that they can get revenge on one of their tormentors. Shiznap starts to scream in pain as the monkeys? attack.)

MD: (Silent, but violent) Vengeance, you will never get any closer than this at my belt. I will beat you to an inch of your life. Blood will be spilled at Aftershock and tears will be cried. But when it?s all over you will be on the ground and my arm will be raised in victory! You will never get my belt, NEVER!

(The camera zooms in on the belt as the picture fades.) �

***

Scorpio

we're taken to a house show and as the crowd begins to prepare to watch the event the lights suddenly begin to flicker and dim.... a pause is heard and a loud crash of pyro explodes and Outkast begins to blare over the PA....... and the new internet champion Scorpio Vaughan steps out to a loud roar of applause and screaming.......... He is holding the internet strap over his right shoulder and he walks to the ring high fiving and slappin hands with the fans..... he enters the ring and stands on the tunbuckle and holds the internet title up in a Rock-like manner. He asks for a mic and begins to speak..................... "Well first and foremost IT'S ABOUT FREAKIN' TIME. Ant I know your thinkin 'Hey I was robbed'. But in fact you weren't robbed..... you were BITCHSLAPPED and SYNCHED. You had no chance, you lost because nobody was able to save you. as much as I hate you though you gave me quite a fight, that is when you weren't hiding behind the ref or running away from me.... but you fell victim to the synch..... and I like hearing you scream I give and hearing your hand tap the ground saying enough enough. Your a whiner, how someone like you could ever have held this strap is beyond me. I'm going to make sure you don't hold this strap for a long long long time. I can't wait to knock you silly and synch you up again..... Oh and don't think I forgot about the third party here..... Flash we've had our run in's it's time to fight for the strap and you too will fall victim.... to the synch......" he throws the mic and exits the ring..

***

Vengeance

the scene is ��������������after the New Years Day celebration....the crowds have all gone home.....the derelict of society celebrate another day of life as the camera fades in

....we see a destitute individual sitting rocking back and forth along a mountain of New Years Day trash....

Vengeance : they are...they are...all of them are...levels...levels...the levels are increasing. the levels of the others..... Vengeance gets up and starts walking through the alleyway.....

Vengeance: this all has been foretold....I would come....bring a new level to the world....I would drive the bar up....and others would come....they would come seeking...then....the bar will be BLOWN OFF...NO MORE WILL THE just good enough work....NO MORE WILL IT BE sufficient to Just get by......the time has come for a new beginning.....old things are passing....THEY WILL BE REMEMBERED NO MORE>>>> chairs and tables are childs play....they will not suffice...

Vengeance is seen rummaging through the dumpster.....finding a bike chain he is sated......

Vengeance: Ahhhhh...now thissss is more like it. You see Mad Dog...slapping around midgets are great..but have you ever tried slapping around someone who stops at nothing to cause and receive pain and eat it like candy ? MAD DOG I CHALLENGE YOU...I BEG YOU TO BRING YOUR BEST. Bring your most vreative and sadistic essence because it takes letting all things go in order to survive.... AND SURVIVE I DO.... at AFTERSHOCK you will see JUST WHAT IT MEANS TO BE WELCOMED TO MY WORLD....

Vengeance is seen wrapping a bike chaing around his fists as he runs off into the depths of skid row....

***

Ruff Ryders ((We see Reggie and Victor standing in front of the eventual Olympic park for the Winter Games in Salt Lake City in 2002. Reggie is decked out in a Karl Malone jersey, while Victor wears the jersey of one John Stockton))

Reggie:"Ahhhh yes, nuttin' like da chilly air of da mountain wes in da winna time. Hea we is in Salt Lake Ci-tay, home of da Utah Jazz, and in a yea from now, da Winna Games. Comin' up dough, we gonna attempt to figga out dem cats in da Deuces Wild. Aint dat right Mr Santiago?"

Victor:"Awww hellz yeah brutha. Ya know, Pokemon and Slap Jack, it's kinda fittin' you two knuckleheads are goin' be goin' afta our belts. Seein' as how a few months ago me and Reggie got deez things cuz ya'll got laid out and ya'll chose us to fight foe ya. But back den, we was both COOL in da gang, ya know what I'm sayin? Me and Reggie and ya'll, we could RELATE, we could see on tha same level. But den, when ya'll got beat up like Bobby Brown beats Whitney Houston after an all night weed binge, and SOMEHOW ya'll decided to faget all dat when ya'lls was laid up recouperatin'. I dunno why, but ya did. Did ya'll think we would DODGE you? Didl ya'll think me and Reg, was AFRAID of ya? HELLZ no boys! Hell I distinctly rememba sayin' when ya'll was off da mend dat me and Reg would be right hea and would gladly go toe-to-toe witchyas for deez belts. And look where we is-"

Reggie:"RIGHT HEEEEEEEA! Ya see even you two, da Ruff Rydas would neva EVA evade ya dig? Even if ya'lls was 7'2" 550 pounds. EH EH! Me and Vic would be right hea waitin' on ya'lls and ready to chop ya down like Emeril when he's choppin up dem onions. So WHAT made ya think ya had to turn ya backs on us and JUMP us like a coupoe littoe PUNKS? Hells if ya'll wanna play the DIRTY GHETTO way, den me and Reggie, fellas we CAN PLAY DA DIRTY GHETTO WAY! We bout it bout it ya know? But do know one thing. Since ya did decide to take da PANSY way out, we goin' beat ya ass for da fans! Da ones who ya cared about, and da ones ya abandoned like Ol'DB runnin' from da cops in L.A. Dis Salt Lake ASS kickin', is goin' be for da fans! We goin' make you two PUNKS, realize da GOOD life is da HIGH life, and not da low life!"

Victor:"Ohhh I almos forgot son, Quad P and ya boy, dat was pretty classy what ya'll did in not wantin' to win like dat. Ya'll bof got mad props from us, and if ya'll eva need us, we dare foe you. Once we smoke deez clowns in da Deuces like a phat philly, ya'lls and da Rydaz can settle dis thing and see who da betta team is. As far as DW, meanin' Darrell Waltwip goes, ya'll USED to be on tha same level as us. But now, afta what happened at Long Decemba, ya'lls will ALWAYS be lowa da us. Hell I consider ya'll lowa dan Divine Brown goin' down on Mini-Me in a swimmin' pool! Ohhh I'm BEGGGIN' boyz, SHOW up at da Delta Centa. And watch da second greatest tag team to work da place, behind da Mailman and Stockton, show ya how to fight....WESTSIIIIDE style!"

((Reggie and Victor walk away as Reggie tosses a bottle of Colt 45 wrapped in a paper bag over his shoulder))

-----------------------------------

Jiggsta ((Outside the Delta Center, the Jiggsta is laughing demonically))

Jiggsta:"Hahahahahaha, Tommy Kant, look at dis place. Man I KNEW dare was a reason to love Mormons. They certainly know how to ERECT a buildin' don't they? Good LOOODE, look at da places where I can pin ya ass at. There's a dumpsta ova there, a back alley on da otha side, ohh and look, right across da STREET, a Church of Jesus Christ and Latta Day Saints!! Hahahaha how bout it man? Whaddya say I just take dat cross, and forget turnin' it sideways, I'll just SHOVE it up yo ass after I put yo BLOOD on all foe ends! Sound good ta ya Kant? It sounds RAVISHIN' ta me. Hell Kant, I doubt you was watchin' me knock da FATNESS out of Phat Cash at a Long Decemba, but if ya wasn't, den I suggest borrowin' dat tape, and just thinkin'. Take an hour, two, three, a week, whateva, and just THINK! Think about how ya gonna want revenge on Rob Benjamin foe bookin' you in dis afta ya 45 month hospital stay ends, and ya ass FINALLY goes home from da rock ya came from undaneath. But bein' as how dis is mormon country, maybe da Jiggaman can go a LITTLE bit easy on ya. But den again, dis IS a falls count anywhere match, so goin' soft really wouldn't make much sense now would it Kant? Yup, you right! Awww hell Tommy, you was outkasted from Apocolypse, and now it's time foe da Jiggaman ta play Mr. Mormon Policeman, and OUTKAST ya ASS from Utah! A ghetto day of reckoning is upon you Tommy Kant, and you will KNOW my name is the Jiggsta, when I lay my vengeance upon you! Hahahahahaha!"

((Jiggsta smiles with a smirk as the camera fades))

***

KREWD

(We see Fox and Beefcake sitting at a caf*� with meals in front of them in downtown Salt Lake City.) Fox: Pounder and Guido, my disenfranchised friends. Playing by the rules will get you no where. We gave you those titles on a platter. Yet you gave them up because ?��we didn?��t win them without cheating?��. What were you thinking? At Aftershock, we will show you that cheating does win over fairness. Beefcake: And remember its only cheating if the ref sees it. Raking the eyes, low blows, all of these things make you better wrestler. Cheating will advance your career. Cheating will get you belts and victories. Being the ?��nice guy?�� doesn?��t do it in this sport. The fans may like you, but the people in the ring do not. Play playing it straight you hurt your careers and each other. Fox: You will never make it by yourselves. You need us. So come back and join the group. All will be forgiven. Everything will be the same as it was. We will be kicking ass again, as a team! Beefcake: We don?��t want to kick your ass in the ring. We don?��t want to embarrass you and make you look like fool in front of ?��your fans?��. But if you do show up, we will show you that bending the rules does win matches. Fox: So come to the ring and see the violence we will bring. You may think you?��re fair and just. But us cheating are a must. We will do all we can to win the match. All you say is ?��we can?��t do that?��. Playing by the rules will not do a thing. You will find out that we are king. You will be broken and on the floor of the place. Then you will see us laughing in your face! Beefcake: Let?��s get out of this dump. I hear there is a five finger discount at Target! Fox: Let?��s go! I?��m looking for a new pair of shoes. (Fox and Beefcake leave the caf*� without paying their bill.)

***

Stevie Ray?

Ready in 5..4...3... �.... �....

Stevie Ray: Welcome back to Stevie's Spot folks...today I am interviewing the two most talked about athletes in the world of profassional wrastlin...none other than Untouchable Eddie Z and his friend who just squeaked out a win for the title over him at A Long December 3 in a great match..some would say the best of the year. So tell me guys, how does this change your relationship with each other...Suckas Gots ta know....

UEZ : Well Stevie I have to be honest. I dont like not being the champ. But I will say this, I would not want to lose to any other guy in the fed other than Billy Boy.

Stevie: Well we in the business all know that you guys are real friends in and out of the ring, but what about the title and your friendship guys ?

LB: Well Stevie its like this. When you wrestle in the business long enough you realize that the title means alot BUT you also realize that friends are hard to come by. The way that battle lines get drawn today you need someone watchin your back. Someone you can trust. Thats where me and Eddie got it like that.

UEZ: Like Bill is saying...I am pretty upset losing the title, but I know my shot is coming for a chance to wear it again. So Billy...this is for your fans and mine..keep that title shined up and don't change the name plate too soon bro cause it's comin back home real soon.

LB: **chucklin**...I hear ya big man. I will say it now and you will hear this alot. I will continue the tradition of a fighting champion and anytime any place Ed and I'm being serious, any place, you get the contract and we will dance again for the prize. It's what the Luscious One's all want and all your fans too Ed.

Stevie: There's something to be said for guys like you who continue on fighting as champions and not resting on their laurels like so many others we have seen in the business.

UEZ: Bill and I always remember who pays the bills so to speak.

LB: You got that right Ed. All the Luscious and non - Luscious One's are the reason we do what we do to our bodies year in and year out.

Stevie:This question is for you Bill, what do you think of your first opponent that nasty Texan Malstrom and how do you plan on handling his mean streak ?

LB: Well suckas and Luscious Ones alike gots ta know so to speak that good ole LB is not basking in the glory of holding this belt without realizing that the job has just begun. That would be just dumb. So Malstrom, Mr Texas, good ole LB here is ruff enough to tangle with the best of 'em. Remember boss, I was as hard as hardcore gets when I gave Phat Cash the ride of his life. I took on as �many men as anyone has in one night here in ECWeWF and dont think that Mr. Luscious is underestimating you for one second. So A game, B game, C game...hell bring all the alphabet Malstrom cause after the shock of the Big Payoff and the inevitable 1 2 3 ���I want no excuses and complaining like we all know youre full of.

Stevie: Well folks thats all the time we have for today on the S Spot..so to all my yaks in the back, daddy's ready for a little smack and No suckas aint gotsa ta know that bidness....now can you dig that ?!?!

***

P and G

(We see Pounder and Guido working out at a local Salt Lake City Gym.)

Pounder: Fox, Beefcake you?re the ones who have got things wrong. Cheating just gets cheap wins, not real ones. It may help YOU guys? get you belts, but that is sure as hell not the way we do it here! A belt means absolutely NOTHING if you did not earn it. That is why we will prove to you that doing what?s right is more important than doing things half-ass.

Guido: That?s why we are working our asses off here. We are going to show the whole world that we do not need you guys anymore. We don?t need you to help us get the titles that we deserve. We don?t need you to win matches. We don?t need you in our stable, and we sure as hell don?t need you as our friends. As far as we are concerned we want nothing to do with you. I regret even knowing you. You disgust me so much that I can smell your putrid stank when you come near. I will never loose to scum like you. You mean nothing to me!

Pounder: Just wait and see. You may be confident now, but when you?re getting your ass kicked in the ring, you?ll think differently. Then you will understand that we are dead serious and that we do want revenge for the matches you interfered with that cost us the tag team titles TWICE! I will make sure that you two walk away wounded men with your heads dropped in shame. But before that I?m going to put you in the most painful hold in wrestling today. THE POLISH PUNISHER! I will make you cry and scream in pain until you tap out. Only then will have I received my redemption!

Guido: You ain?t beaten me neither. I?ll do my damnedest to make sure that you will not win the match. I?ll keep an eye out for your dirty tricks. I know what you do, besides each other. You go into the ring and get your ass kicked until you pull off some trick and then you bearly win the match. You just wait until I whip out some high-flying action that will leave you on the ground.

Pounder: At Aftershock you will see that we have more talent, skill, and heart than you ever will have. We will show you that even with your cheating that we will be the better team and pick up a true victory over the pieces of trash that you are.

Guido: I can't wait.

(The picture fades as Pounder and Guido continue their workout.)

***

KANT

Jiggsta, Jiggsta, Jiggsta... can't you see... Sometimes your words just hypno- no wait hold on. Look You and I, well I can't remember us fighting before forgive me if we have, I forget family members names and such. Job hazard doncha know... Look, I don't know what the deal was there with the mormons or whatever, but look you know what I have done, I know what you can do, I frankly am a little tired of, well what Flash would call, veraliciousity, so let just both bring our A games and give these people something they won't forget, or maybe oh to hell with that, let's just beat the living snot out of one another...

***

Jadacide

((A dark alley somewhere in NYC. Jadacide is in his wrestling duds, standing in front of a huge fence blocking the alley off, with three huge dobermans barking behind him.))

Jadacide:"Yea, it be a rough negihborhood around hea. Deez parts of da NYC, we talkin' Queens killa. Me and the Double R's; we had some of our wors battoes around deez parts. Hell look at deez dogs behind me. If I was ta climb ova da fence hea, they'd rip me apart like a rawhide bone. But cha now, Blood McRib, Zedward E, dat da way it is AAWHERE around hea. Ya gotta watch out not only for da hounds, but foe PUNKS who wanna jump ya and take whateva ya got. Livin' out hea, it aint no cakewalk. Bof ya'll foos know suttin else dat aint no cakewalk, and dats steppin' in da ring wit da deadliest thing eva to come from da ghetto, Jadacide. Z man, me and you had a dance prolly a yea or so ago. I know ya got screwed ova, and I got the W, but the fact of tha matter, is I got tha W. Blood, just las event, ya found out da HARD way dat a fight against me aint no cakewalk. If it wasn't foe dat dumbass Malstrom, I'd be out to give our champion, Bill, one LUSCIOUS beating comin' up at da next event. But all's fair around hea, cuz Benjamin know what the hell is up. Now we da hounds, and we gonna have a feast, on each otha. Z you and eye see mos things da same way, but I wont be havin' ya back in dis one brutha. Blood, I'ma just make ya ass bleed some MOE. I'm only lookin' out for numba one, and dat bein' numa one contenda. Z I know you wanna rematch, but this fed is in NEED of some Jadacide, to rid it of tha slugs that infest it. I think I want dis a little bit moe than you, and in our little three way dance, I'ma do whateva it takes to get to numba one. I'm a let deez dogs out in tha ring, it'll be OOOOONNNN, and bof ya'll cats will neva eva be da same. Dat's my word. Ya'll gotta maja fight comin', so I suggest if ya aint ready, ya start ta BE ready, cuz Jadacide's ready to kick two big asses, and become one man, wit his eyes on one titoe."

((Jadacide walks away as the camera turns around to follow him for a moment and then fades))

***

Flash

Flash sent this strange video us here at the EWCeWF. Folks, your guess is as good as mine...

- Greetings and percolations my fine intestinal friends! Ya know it has been many a day in this crazy, LOCO motion world of the EWCeWF that it has been for the fortuitousness of me, myslef truly, to get a title shot in this fine establishmation. So at present it would appear that Flash, whish is the third party referendum of me, will be facing Scorpio Vaughn, and that Ant fella. I have yet to have started my streakiness so submitted for your pervasion, I offer to all of you the beginning of the Flash age, an age of new brilliance and light in the EWCeWF.. bitchin huh?

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Funk & Fenris vs Ares & Loki

(after a catch as catch can masterpiece between Bird and the Devil Kid, Burt and Rob converse.)

RB: What a piece of crap that match was...

BV: Bowling shoe Ug-ly. Folks I don't know about you, but I for one am looking forward with great anticipation towards our semi main event tag match. But one has to wonder if Fenris can trust the ex- Apocalypse member Funk.

RB: Well if the apoc couldn't trust that bastard why should he be able to?

RB: Speak of the Devil,-

BV: Here is Funk! He has a microphone, Is he finally going to be able to speak for himself? The crowd actually seems to have taken to Funk quickly here, the Microphone is slowly raised to his lips...

(The blaring entrance of Loki and Ares cuts off any hope of hearing what Funk was going to say.)

Loki: You know Ares, the kids today they have a little problem, with, dare I Steal a line, with knowing their role. And now, it seems, like shutting there damn mouths. (brandishing a baseball bat) You ever seen Untouchables? I know some of you are thing what part of Eddy Z is he talking about? No No No, get that knuckle dragging piece of crap out of your head for one second and listen to me. In the MOVIE that shares a name with that monkey, DeNiro, gives a little lesson about how a group should work like a basebal team. There is a time and a place for individuality. Funk, now is not the time.. now is not the place. In fact Ares and I are about ready to show you just what YOUR PLACE IS!!

They rush the ring, Loki from the front with the bat, allowing Ares to sneak up from behind and hit a roundhouse kick to the back of Funk's head. They tie his arms up in the ropes and Loki nails a massive shot to the ribs. From out of nowhere, comes Fenris Kendo stick in hand chasing Loki and Fenris out of the ring. A few seconds pass and Flash comes into the ring to check on his new and old partner Funk. Perhaps not seeing who it was, Fenris smashes him in the side of the head with the kendo stick, knocking out a tooth. We fade to black.